Finding Myself through Service

I’ll be honest- I probably hit a burnout earlier than some of my fellow corps members this year. As I got into a routine, I began to feel more sluggish instead of excited about my opportunity. Perhaps this was because I am truly a busy body and wasn’t entirely sure how to adapt to office life. I am typically an optimistic and positive person, yet for one reason or another I could see this side of me diminishing. Then, like dominos, I could feel myself spiraling downward, letting the stresses of life and personal matters sometimes take over. It was during these moments when I had to do a serious self-check and remind myself why I was here in the first place. I was waiting for my “light bulb” moment, that feeling of accomplishment, fullness, and true happiness that I would seek out in any work I do.

Recently reflecting on my year, I realized that there wasn’t just one “light bulb” moment; there were many. It happened the first time I successfully enrolled my first patient into the Patient Assistance Program. It happened when I spent weeks on the phone with a pharmaceutical company on behalf of a patient’s application in order for it to get approved. It happened when I bonded with a patient for over an hour, laughing like school girls and talking about everything from music to fashion to family. It happened when a patient took my hand and told me how important it was for her to keep a good relationship with the people who keep her alive.

When I thought about all of my light bulb moments, I wondered what made them so powerful, and why they were able to lift me from my negative mindset. It didn’t take me long to realize that collectively, those moments were what defined service and everything I was representing as a Philadelphia Health Corps member. I was truly in my element when I wasn’t thinking about myself or my problems anymore, and instead trying to make someone’s day better who may be dealing with problems a lot worse than mine. Looking back on my year, I will never remember the hard, sluggish days or even what I was constantly stressing out about, but I will never forget those moments when I was truly myself in the presence of helping a patient. If it wasn’t for some of the close connections I made with certain individuals to boost that feeling of fulfillment and accomplishment, I may have never learned the most important lesson from this experience. I feel as though I have truly learned the meaning of the term “service.” It’s not about me. It’s reaching outside a comfort zone and testing limits to make this world a little better at the end of the day, even if that’s something as simple as turning a frown into a smile. I found my true self through service to others. It’s the person I want to be.

So I did find that accomplishment, fullness, and happiness that I was seeking after all. As I move on to the next chapter in my life, I will zone into the experiences and lessons I have learned from PHC as a reminder of how a simple light bulb can brighten even the darkest room.

This post was written by PHC member Stephanie Storer.
Ankita serves at the Philadelphia Department of Public Health - Health Center #6 as an Patient Assistance Program Advocate.